Island

One of the several locations we are floating as a possible reunion venue  is the Governor’s Island beach. The major advantage: the function room costs $200 to rent. The beach has tennis courts (clay and that other kind), a fire pit, and a dock with a diving board, which for us means a casual and inexpensive barbecue and plenty of things to occupy our children, partners and/or spouses.  However, in order to use the function room, you have to be a member of the Governor’s Island association, or know someone who is willing to sign off on the event.

If this were 1999, before my parents moved away from the island, we would be all set. I  lived there for the two years I went to Gilford High, not by the shore but in the woods in the center, and it was fun to tell my friends from Massachusetts that I lived on an actual island. You don't even need a boat to get to it, as it is attached to land via bridge: a glorious arcing bridge, which my friends and I used to tackle head on by going at full speed, feeling the car just sort of jump into the air at the top, like the General Lee  in the opening credits of the Dukes of Hazzard .

Six islands on the Winnipesaukee are connected to the mainland by bridges, some rickety, some secure. The largest, Long Island, is 1,186 acres and the smallest, Becky’s Garden, is about ten feet long. Becky’s Island has a fairy-tale legend attached to it, too: A man who had three daughters owned several islands. He gave the islands to his daughters, allowing them to choose. Becky, the nicest and prettiest one, chose the smallest island so her evil sisters would be less envious of her. A dollhouse was built on the island to commemorate her purity and unselfishness.

And then you have Governor’s Island.

Here are just a few of the things that happened while we lived there:

1. A pair of ninjas broke into a lakefront mansion with the intent to kidnap an entire family. The police had to cordon off the Island, and as I left for work one morning in my pancake house uniform they stopped me and checked to see if I had a ninja hiding in the back of my tiny Mazda 323.

2. Near-death experience # 1: A man tried to convince me to get into his car when I was out jogging at twilight one evening. I was 16 and did not realize at the time that this should have been reported to the police.

3. Our neighbor across the street was an ex-airline pilot who hated us and our dog, too. One day when I had lost my keys and was outside freezing to death after school, I asked to use his phone. He was camping out in his living room, in a tent. Near death experience # 2.

4. Lee Majors (the six million dollar man) had a vacation home there. I never saw him, though. Apparently Brittney Spears had also been planning on buying a home on the water there as well, but it didn’t happen.

5. The elderly population who used the beach were very territorial about their beach spots. So much so that if you picked a spot and it was near their spot, they would take their chairs and move them right in front of you.

 I realize that I have not made this venue sound appealing, but trust me, it is. Just stay away from ninjas, pedophiles, celebrities, unstable ex-pilots, and people who seem overly attached to their beach spots, and a fun time will be had by all.